she was so not down for the gang bang
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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