The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
