i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
