I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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