May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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