How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
