there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
