I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
i've created a new STD.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
The struggles of a small town man whore
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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