he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Randomize
