some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
should my penis look like a turkey
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
