Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize