Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
