How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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