last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
