who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
