Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
