Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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