so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
