I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Randomize
