do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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