You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
