remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
This is my gift to your gina
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
