oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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