Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
