so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
