You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize