i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
