her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Acid is not a monday night drug
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
