Swine flu. Run for my life!
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
