all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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