I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
