if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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