i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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