It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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