at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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