you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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