Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
It all started with a game of naked twister.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
