just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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