fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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