she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
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