I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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