Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize
