We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
