Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
your room smells of hookers.
And success
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
