i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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