Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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