If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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