Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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