All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
