We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
