omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize