The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
