please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
