Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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