Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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