My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
