i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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