i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
