Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize
