yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
