Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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