So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
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I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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