a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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