Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
