4 words: hood of his car
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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