Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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